Now My Heart Is Full is the first Morrissey song I ever fell in love with. My favorite line goes: “Tell all of my friends, I don’t have too many…”. It’s not much of a killer lyric I know but I’m an introvert by nature and those words spoke true to me. We’re all free to decipher the possible meanings of our favorite songs and I read in a fan forum that this song is (probably) about suicide. I didn’t think of it that way but the reasons given made sense. No, I have never contemplated suicide, I never will, but this is still my favorite song (now one of many!).
I’m still basking in the after glow of Morrissey’s Manila concert. It was such a profound experience to see and hear the man whose music has meant (and still means) so much to me. It made me remember the friend who first brought his music into my life. When I first met her we instantly clicked with our common love for rock music, sarcastic humor, good movies, writing letters, books, funny comic strips and coffee among other things. She would tell me stories about The Smiths and Morrissey and would often recite their lyrics with such panache it made me so envious that I wished I knew those lines by heart as well. The lyrics were amazing but it took a while before I took a shine to the songs. I’m glad she never gave up on me–giving me cds of her favorite songs, writing letters with lyrics on them and sharing her videos on her ipod. Little by little I was hooked for life! It was wonderful to have someone to share these things with. When I was finally immersed in the music as much as she was, we dreamt of being able to watch him live and possibly be even one of the lucky few who get to hold his hand.
Because of one thing and another, we’ve lost touch over the years. Life happens and some things we just have no control over. I thought about her during the concert and I wished we could’ve shared that experience together. A few days afterward I decided to reconnect with her. I honestly didn’t expect her to write back so I was both surprised and glad to have received a happy reply. She shared her concert stories, the best one being, “Morrissey held my hand!”. I was so happy that her dream came true. She deserved that moment. A coffee date may soon follow…who knows? Morrissey’s advice: Hold Onto Your Friends.
So I would like to dedicate this song, this video, this post, this moment to my friend. You might be sick of hearing it already but thank you for sharing this with me. Note to friend: Jack The Ripper was also a contender for this spot and you know how much we love that song too!
song: Now My Heart Is Full
album: Vauxhall and I
video: from carmenbozia on youtube