Musings from the Mosh Pit…

Thoughts. Tales. Travels. Whatever.

For my kapatid July 18, 2010

Filed under: friends,personal,thoughts — fizzywoohoo @ 9:47 am
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It’s sunday afternoon.  The weather is a bit gloomy.  It looks like it’s going to rain.  I’m on the bed listening to my “cool britannia” playlist on my ipod.  Right now it’s “Champagne Supernova” by Oasis.  The loud yet dramatic guitars seem perfect for the mood.

As I was working on my last post in the wee hours of saturday morning, I received a text message from my kapatid (we’re not really related but that’s our term of endearment for each other) that her dad had passed away.  It was partly shocking–news of deaths usually are anyway–and partly expected because she told me recently that his health was failing.  I didn’t reply immediately despite being wide awake.  I wanted to say the right words at a time when I felt it was right to say them.  17 hours later this is what I sent her:

“My condolences kapatid.  How are you feeling?  I think I have some idea from our talks in the past.  I guess I’m more concerned that the aftermath might be a bit crazy knowing all the stories you told me re your dad.  May you be stronger if indeed times may be difficult ahead…and yet I also pray that you’ll have peace of mind and some kind of closure too. *hugs*”

You see, both my kapatid and I have father issues…the only difference is that I grew up with mine whereas she hardly ever knew hers.

I’m pretty sure lots of people are telling her things she probably doesn’t want to hear right now…like “I’m sorry for your loss” or “You must be feeling sad”.  I smile and I hope she’s exercising a lot of patience and restraint–don’t be a bitch now kapatid!  With all the talks I’ve had with her in the past…I’m pretty confident in saying–How can she feel loss or sadness over something she never grew up having in the first place? (note to you: As you’re reading this kapatid, is it more of relief that you’re feeling?)  We’re talking about a man she only thought of inviting to her wedding…a mere 3 days before the actual ceremony!  I thought that was funny but I’m not taking it against her because I get where she’s coming from.

I’m not going into details about her dad’s many problems.  Sometimes things get more complicated when someone dies as opposed to when they were still alive.  I guess I just want her to know that I’m thinking of her…that as much a she believes in me, I also believe in her that she’ll get through this unscathed. (trust me, she can kick ass)

I can see it now…smoke clearing on the battlefield, she appears in her all-black outfit…high heels and violet hand bag in tow…eyebrows arched and lips slightly twisted…telling any idiot who dares to cross her path, “Do I look like I care?” followed by, “Would you like some fries to go with that ass whooping?!”

Ah yes…that’s the kapatid I know and love.

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One Response to “For my kapatid”

  1. kapatid Says:

    kapatid,

    I truly appreciate this… this is the first genuine smile I had since that dreary day… my thanks, kapatid, you really know how I was feeling… I was feeling so plastic and so fake….

    The tears I have shed are more in line with anger over how irresponsible “HE” is until he died… That irresponsibility is what’s freaking me out now adays… let’s just say that he left one fine mess…

    And guess what, who was left holding the F*cking bag? hmmmm….

    Anyway, thanks kapatid, for this… truly appreciated it… I would say my hats off… I was laughing with your rendition of my black clad persona… with the violet handbag at that….

    and yes, I would probably be doing that… If only I am allowed to kill those that need killing…

    I am more afraid for those in my family who are truly affected by this…. My mom and my two (2) elder sisters…. They are the ones who felt the brunt of everything…

    Basta,,, you rock kapatid… know that I am always here for you…. medyo lo batt ang buhay ko ngayon… but you’ll soon hear from me… up and running…

    I love you, kapatid….


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