Musings from the Mosh Pit…

Thoughts. Tales. Travels. Whatever.

Mom is picture perfect May 22, 2010

Filed under: family affair,personal,thoughts — fizzywoohoo @ 2:09 am
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It was mama’s birthday last May 17 & she would’ve been 59 this year. This is my favorite photo of her.  I discovered this just a few years ago as I was cleaning up old & dusty photo albums.  There’s not a lot of photos like this lying around the house…most of the time there are other people in the pictures with her.  But I really like this one.  I’ve since put it in a picture frame & it’s displayed at our sala with all the rest of the family pictures.

That’s it.  I just wanted to share. =)

ps: do any of you have any ideas on how i could get those black spots out? or no use ba since the picture is already old?

 

Meeting an old friend for the second time May 14, 2010

Filed under: excellent adventures with friends,friends,tales — fizzywoohoo @ 5:10 pm
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I have a date tomorrow.  I’m meeting an old friend for the second time. Now some of you may argue:

1) It’s not a date if it’s with a female friend.

2) How can you be “old friends” when you’re only meeting each other for the second time?

3) Isn’t it Saturday tomorrow? Why the EFF are you scheduling a lakad at 9:30am—shouldn’t you be in bed ‘til at least 10am?!

Allow me to explain.

Tomorrow, I’ll be having coffee with Lani—kamikazee girl, Gaemaree’s ex-officemate, Japanese connoisseur,  future travel writer & mother of baby shin, fellow fan of Brandon Boyd and the person responsible for my love of Jun Matsumoto.

This is the beautiful Jun Matsumoto

I first heard about Lani from my friend, Gaemaree (note: kapatid, ever notice how I always call you by your full first name?)  way back in 2008.  Incubus was scheduled to perform in manila for the second time that year (ehem, on my birthday no less!) and Gae was already working for TNT with Lani. She found out that Lani also loved Brandon—obsessively and psychotically as I did—and knew we simply had to meet. Unfortunately, the meeting that we planned didn’t push through on the day of the show.  I finally met her later that year when I went in for an interview with TNT. If I recall correctly, she was wearing a white ribbon-ed head band and she also had Brandon as her pc wallpaper. I didn’t get to talk to her much then because of her work and I was preoccupied with my nervousness about being interviewed.

Then in 2009, when I had just started with my new job, the 3 of us were sending long email threads to one another during an obviously boring day at work.  I found out then that she was also a fan of Meteor Garden and I even asked her to give me an introductory lesson on it. Call it Meteor Garden 101 or Hana Yori Dango 101. Fast forward to last March when I had just finished Ava’s copy of the animated Hana Yori Dango series. I got so addicted to all things HYD and I was desperately looking for someone to fuel the fire.  I immediately thought of Lani.  She was to be my master…and I her padawan. Coincidentally, we’re both Star Wars fans as well!

I’ve been keeping in touch with her since then…mostly via email or ym or text. And because of her, I’ve also developed a new obsession—Jun Matsumoto. Now, let it be known that as of this writing, I am exerting all efforts to prevent myself from sounding like a crazed fan girl but may I request that you allow me to say this: MatsuJun rocks & watching him makes me smile!…Oh all right! He’s sooooo kawaii!!! (that’s japanese for cute!) Ok back to regular programming. All this joy over watching koreanovelas & jdoramas are all thanks to her. We no longer just share Brandon, but I’m thankful that she’s shared Jun-Kun with me as well.

It may be weird to some to find that special connection with someone you’ve only just met…ako pa! I’ve been accused of being anti-social more than once…hehehe…and I don’t deny it sometimes. Sometimes when you feel like your world is a little “blah”, the Universe surprises you with a nice little package…mine was all wrapped up in papel de hapon! (Sorry, it’s a corny joke but it’s still Japanese related right?) I don’t have gazillions of friends, but the ones that do come my way (both old & new) are very special indeed…and I’d rather have a handful of special ones than a bunch of others I couldn’t care less about…or who couldn’t care less about me either.

Of course if she were a gift, she’d be wrapped Japanese style!

In all the emails that we shared, an actual sit down meeting has been proposed but initially we couldn’t find a schedule which was convenient for us both.  Luckily, an opportunity arrived and we’ve decided to meet for coffee tomorrow at 930am. On one hand it feels like going on a blind date (though I’ve never actually been on one) because technically we haven’t really spent that much time face to face before this. But on the other hand it also feels like meeting up with a good friend that you haven’t seen in a long while. Yup, that sounds more like it. So to answer the opening arguments:

1)      Yes, it still is a date.

2)      You don’t have to count “times we’ve met” to consider someone your friend.

3)      Getting up at 630am on a Saturday to have coffee with a friend at 930am? Hell yeah!

ps: Much love & thanks to Jun, Brandon, Gaemaree & the Universe!

 

May 10, 2010 May 11, 2010

Filed under: tales,whatever — fizzywoohoo @ 12:14 pm

Today was a historic day. The Philippines had it’s first ever automated elections. Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this day to come. I couldn’t bear thinking that up until 4 years ago, we were still counting ballots as if we’re electing class officers in school. I’d really like to see this country move forward and this is a step towards that direction.

My family and I arrived at Miriam Grade School a little before 7am. There was already a line but it was a tolerable one. Everything was pretty relaxed at first but things started to get a little heated when they had problems organizing the lines/voters entering the MMJ court. (POP QUIZ! What does MMJ mean again?) Some folks were pissed. Some were screaming and arguing. Some were complaining. And poor little Fizz kept getting squished. Because of the confusion, I wasn’t able to get in at the same time as my family. For some reason, I’m the only one whose precinct number was different. I was afraid that I’d be the last one to finish among all of us. When I finally got to my cluster (no. 4), I was shocked but surprisingly pleased  to find that our group was well organized and that the officers were super efficient. I was done in no time! As I made my way to find mi familia, I was surprised to discover that none of them were done! Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Hooray for cluster no. 4! Boo to cluster no. 5!

Happy though I am with the ease of my voting experience, it can’t be helped that there were others who weren’t as lucky as I was. There were so many problems ranging from the very small (disorganized lines) to the very large (violence in some parts of Mindanao). I hope that this will not discourage Filipinos from seeing the good side of automated voting. This is our first time and things are bound to be imperfect. Hopefully in the next elections, we’d have learned from our mistakes & improved on our faults.

May this be the start towards a better Philippines.

Oh and just in case you were wondering…I voted a fellow La Sallian for President and an Atenean for Vice President.

ps: Much as I’d like to write more “political stuff” in this post…I simply can’t. I hate politics…especially, Philippine politics. I just wanted to write about my experience today.

 

Mama May 7, 2010

Filed under: family affair,personal,thoughts — fizzywoohoo @ 3:15 pm
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Note 1:

I’ve always had the habit of apologizing to my friends for sharing my feelings/problems with them. I’m well aware that everyone has their own daily burdens to deal with and in my head, I didn’t want to add to their worries by telling them “Hey, today I’m feeling crappy. Wanna hear all about it?” But more importantly, I’ve come to realize a much more important fact—THAT way of thinking is a disservice to my friends. They are the most wonderful people ever and it’s an insult to think that they wouldn’t want me to open up to them. They would’ve left a long time ago if they didn’t want to be with me, right? So, thank you to all my friends…both old & new.

Note 2:

Friends, do I talk about mama often? I know I’m not the most open person ever but I’m not sure if I discuss her much.

**********

Mother’s Day is just around the corner. It’ll be this Sunday, May 09. But to me, May 09 will be known as just plain ‘ol Sunday & nothing more. You see, I haven’t celebrated Mother’s Day in 13 years. Frankly, I don’t remember much from those dark days in December of 1997. Help me out here Kris B., ito ba ay: avoidance? dissociation? repression? or suppression?

There are a few things that I do remember. Did you guys know…

  • That I  went to Batangas with Owa and two balikbayan relatives on the day mama had an attack?
  • That in Batangas one of the relatives we visited had a funeral parlor business and I kept looking (or tried to avoid looking) at a certain white casket? (mama’s casket eventually was white)
  • That mama was eating xmas ham for brunch as we left that day?
  • That I can clearly recall looking at her & saying goodbye from the door as I left…and that was the last time I saw her alive?
  • That the outfit I wore to that trip to Batangas…I never wore again?
  • That she was in a coma for a week and I only visited her 3 times? (once with family, once with Josette and the other time with Ula)
  • That nobody asked for my opinion on whether they should cut life support or not? After a week, they just did. I wasn’t there.
  • That I was reading Judith McKnaught’s “Whitney, My Love” during the wake? (Oh and Dan noticed)
  • That I didn’t cry at the funeral?
  • That her things are still inside her closet?
  • That I weighed my lightest at the time? (111 pounds!)
  • That Wolfgang’s “Wurm” album was my soundtrack for that period? That album was released on Dec. 23, 1997 & I bought my copy at national bookstore in greenhills. It was properly & rightfully played at full volume inside my bedroom at all times.

When mama was still around, we always went to Robinson’s Galleria for malling and we would always hear Saturday mass at 5:30pm. After her passing, I continued hearing mass there if I had Saturday duty at work. One particular Saturday, upon noticing the empty seat beside me, I felt so overwhelmed with sadness that I thought I was going to burst into tears during the mass.

There was another time 2 or 3 years ago when I was fixing my bookshelf and saw the snow globe (those things with water & glitter in it?) gift she gave me one Christmas…and right there, with no warning whatsoever, I cried. Sometimes I’ll be in the shower and all of a sudden I’ll cry.

I read somewhere that, “You never really get over it, but you do get used to it.” I guess that’s why 13 years on, it still feels like yesterday. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have bad days. Sometimes you’ll think about it, sometimes you won’t. There will always be that hole where you mother used to be. No matter how much time has passed, you will always notice the empty space she left behind…more so during special occasions like mother’s day, her birthday, Christmas…

I don’t know what I want to achieve by writing this. I can’t even promise that after this, everything will be fine & dandy. (mental note: everything IS fine naman when I think about it.) Like I said, there’ll be good days & bad ones. Hmm…I guess I should end this post on a positive note right? But what if I can’t think of anything chipper to say? When I started writing this, I only saw the beginning…but I never gave much thought on how to end it. I guess I’ll just say that I love my mom & I miss her very much. I’ll always think about her & keep her in my prayers. And again, thank you to all of you whom I always turn to when things get a bit depressing.

ps: I’m supposed to have a photo of her scanned & placed here…but I don’t have a scanner & I wanted to post this already. =)

 

Salamat…Jett Pangan May 3, 2010

Filed under: music,rock on!,tales — fizzywoohoo @ 12:18 pm
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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…I fell in love with my first pinoy rock band. The year was 1989 (I was in 7th grade). The Album was called “Beyond the Bend.”  And that band was The Dawn.

The album

I can still recall how much this album meant to me and how often I listened to it using my now extinct casette player. Apart from “Salamat”, my other favorite song on the record was “Little Paradise”. At that time, their line up was composed of Jett, JB Leonor, Carlos Balcells & Atsushi Matsuura. I’ve always wanted to see them live…but I was young then and going to gigs was out of the question. Years have passed and I’ve liked other pinoy bands after The Dawn but they’ve always held a special place in my heart.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my sister told me that her co-teacher (“Teacher Diane” – who also sings in a band) will be performing at a gig with Jett Pangan. She asked me if I’d like to have anything signed. I immediately thought of my casette tape and frantically searched for it. A couple of days later, my sister happily hands over the signed album cover. Lookey, lookey! He even wrote down my name!

Fizz! Rock and Roll!

I asked my sister if her co-teacher had any amusing story to tell to go with the autograph…and there was! The conversation between her and Jett went something like this:

Teacher Diane: Sir Jett! Favor naman o? Can you sign this please for 2 of my friends?

Jett Pangan: Sure!

Teacher Diane hands a cd cover first and he signs it.

Teacher Diane: This one is from my friend’s sister. Her name is Fizz & she’s a long time fan. (she then proceeds to hand over my casette cover)

Jett Pangan: Wow, classic!

So, there you go kids. In my own twisted little mind, I can say that Jett Pangan knows I exist. Salamat to JB, Carlos, Atsushi & Jett.

Thank you for being a part of the soundtrack of my youth.

 

Conan O’Brien is my Savior May 2, 2010

Filed under: as seen on tv,thoughts — fizzywoohoo @ 6:04 am
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Who would’ve thought that I’d owe a debt of gratitude to a 6’4’, red haired, pasty white man who loves to string dance, star in his own Spanish Telenovela, impersonate leprechauns, play “old school” baseball & predict the future? I certainly didn’t expect it but it’s true…it’s true!

My love affair with Conan didn’t exactly start on a happy note though. It was on December 1997 when my mother suddenly suffered a heart attack, went into a coma & after a week, passed away. We buried her exactly a week before Christmas. At a time when people were busy celebrating the holidays, I was busy preventing myself from falling apart. It was a failed attempt of course because as my friends constantly remind me, I have this nasty habit of keeping my feelings in & shouldering the burden all by myself. I couldn’t sleep so I’d stay up channel surfing even up to the wee hours of the morning (4:30am was the latest!). A week after the funeral, on Christmas Eve, I didn’t even want to go downstairs to celebrate because really, what was the point? My aunts & uncles had to force us kids out of bed just for some sense of normalcy.

Enter my college friend Josette into the picture. She’s a long time insomniac who prefers to clean her bedroom at the ungodly hour of 2:30am. She’s quite experienced in the field of channel surfing and so she suggests I check out this new show on cable (well, cable was new to us at that time) called Late Night with Conan O’ Brien. Right then, I was on my way to salvation! Knowing Conan’s humor, he’d probably say that there must be a joke in here somewhere…that as soon as I tuned in, his brand of comedy put me to sleep just like that! *snaps fingers* Yeah, that would sound just like him…why else would he do skits on singing babies to sleep while showing clips of all things evil? Hehehe…

Simply put: The Cone Bone made me smile…and laugh…and cry tears of joy! Watching him every night from Tuesday-Saturday at 12mn was my source of happiness. Would you believe me if I said that watching him felt like having a friend around? It didn’t change the fact that I still lost my mother but rather the message that I was getting was, “It’s ok. Laugh & be happy.”

Late Night was like watching a fun parade consisting of Abe Vigota, that NAUGHTY bear, a robot pimp, a cigar smoking dog, a fedex pope, a guy with bullet proof legs, a coked up werewolf, Mr. T, an evil puppy, a naked drummer, a trusty sidekick, the world’s fastest menorah, John Tesh, William Shatner, a gorilla nurse using an old fashioned abdominal exerciser while listening to Juice Newton’s Angel of the Morning, a horny manatee, a gun toting-nascar-riding jesus, Frankenstein (who wastes a minute of your time), Pierre Bernard’s recliner of rage, the sears tower wearing sears clothing, a brooding vampire assitant (I’m gonna love you forever!), a racist crooner, the interrupter, a screeching raccoon with a jet pack, 3 guys slipping on nuts & a whole lot more.

Don’t even get me started on his musical guests! They are the coolest!

So thank you, Conando for helping me get through those sleepless nights & for letting me be a part of your motley crew! I know you’re currently on tour so I guess I’ll see you in the future…all the way to the year 3000!

Isn’t that right, cactus in a chef’s hat playing “We Didn’t Start the Fire ” on a flute?

 

Ehem…Ehem…

Filed under: personal,something about me — fizzywoohoo @ 5:40 am
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Wow! My second official post! I didn’t think I’d have enough will-power to even make it to post #2! Truth be told, I’m not really a techie and my first post + site pimping took me a couple of hours. I still can’t figure out why my gravatar isn’t showing up. Hay…

Anyway, as part of my new endeavor to engage in the world of blogging, here are some random factoids about me:

  • I’m so shy…I put “makahiya” plants to shame.
  • Contradictory to my shyness…I absolutely, absolutely love rock music.
  • My 4 favorite bands EVER are: Oasis, Incubus, The Smiths and Slipknot…though technically Slipknot’s music is heavy metal. I think very highly of Noel Gallagher, Brandon Boyd & Joey Jordison.
  • I worship at the Church of Morrissey. Bad words against him are not allowed in my presence.
  • I work for the “Evil Empire” (or so they say). The benefits are pretty good though. Prior to the Evil Empire, I worked my @ss off for 11 years for a company that was just plain EVIL.
  • I love to read…from Austen to Snickett to Harry Potter to those super kilig period romance novels! (no shame there!)
  • My new addiction: Asianovelas (mostly Korean & Japanese). Sorry, no tagalog dramas on my list.
  • The poster boys of said addiction: Lee Min Ho, Matsumoto Jun (thanks Lani!), & Ikuta Toma (you should see this guy shirtless!). Sadly, they’re all younger than I am.
  • I’m a mallrat. I can survive 7-8 hours of malling…except for that one time with Kris….suko ako! (hahaha, can you guess which lakad kris?)
  • I go into nerd & oc mode when arranging my stuff: cds & books are done alphabetically by artist/author & then chronologically; while dvds are arranged alphabetically by genre.
  • Last year I watched my first tagalog film in 12 years…an indie flick called, “Astig”…but does that count considering it’s not commercially released & I got in for free?
  • In 2008 I wore jeans again after 8 years. I survived mainly with skirts & shorts.
  • I’m terrified of public speaking.
  • It hurts my feelings when people forget about me.
  • I’d rather see Europe than the USA.
  • I don’t eat lechon!
  • I love watching wrestling on tv. I’m an on & off fan, but a fan nonetheless.
  • When push comes to shove, I can probably give up chocolates but never (regular) coke!
  • I am friends with some of the coolest people you’ll ever know. I know most people say that about their friends but MY friends are way up there!
  • The blog may be called, “Musings from the mosh pit” but I’ve never actually been in a mosh pit. Sure, I’ve been “moshed”, but inside the pit? Not yet. I’ll make an exception for Slipknot though. =)
 

Ground control to Major Tom April 20, 2010

Filed under: personal,thoughts — fizzywoohoo @ 12:42 am
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How did I get here? Why am I here? Long have my friends encouraged me to keep a blog…and long have I resisted.  “What was the point?”, I asked. I was quite happy keeping my thoughts on pen & and paper…it’s more old-school…more intimate…more personal.

Enter my friend Lanie into the picture! Lanilakwatsera’s “The Adventures of Kamikazee Girl” has been my new fun companion at work (must not let the boss hear that!) and it’s from there that I’ve gotten the urge to try my hand at blogging. Ok. Fine. I’ll give it a go and see where it takes me. Please feel free to join the ride! Cheers!

The world’s a roller coaster & I am not strapped in. Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air. – Incubus